Today is a day that I will never forget. Today is the day an emptiness was created that will forever be void. Today is the day that my family lost the glue and pieces shattered. Today is the day that will forever be remembered for the loss we felt on earth and for the gift that was given to God. Today we remember the life of Steven Robert Pearcy.
Eight years ago today my life changed forever. I look back on this day with mixed emotions. I feel joy and happiness to remember what an incredible blessing I was given to have such an amazing person in my life for 22 years. But it also brings about such sadness that my family and I will no longer be able to create new memories with this amazing person. But today is just a day; a day like so many throughout the year where memories and longing fill my heart and mind. Memories of my Dad making us kids laugh so hard that we would fall off of our chairs with tears streaming down our faces. Memories of my Dad teaching me how to sew on a button. Memories of my Dad doing his little jig in the center of the kitchen. Memories of my Dad kissing my mom, teaching us that love is worth all the trouble. Memories of my Dad playing with his granddaughter and the gleam of adoration she had for him. Memories, memories, memories... memories are all we have now.
Memories are sometimes the hardest to swallow. They bring happiness as well as pain because you know no new memories can be created. This fact has taken a toll on me since having our first born. I find myself torn over the blessing we have been given and the one that was taken away. I find myself missing my dad and wishing he could be with us but then I look at how fortunate I am. I have been blessed with a little boy when so many women cannot have their own. I have supportive and loving family and friends, a beautiful home, a good job, and good health. How can I, who has been given sooooo much, wish for more? It's the catch 22 that no talks about with death. You will forever feel guilty for wanting more when you seem to have it all.
So with that it is my prayer that my family will grow up not wanting for more but live life to the fullest with what they got when they got it. That we will remember and embrace all those that make up who we are whether it be through genetics or through influence. And to always say thank you...
Thank you Dad for being someone that makes me cry when seeing your resemblance in my little boy's face. He is a constant reminder that I have been given a gift to pass on your legacy. Andrew and I will try our hardest to teach him the important life lessons you and Mom taught me: be kind (everyone has a heart) and never give up (they call it hard work because nothing easy is worth doing).
You may be gone but NEVER forgotten. Love you!
Maybe Grayson smiles so much to remind us how happy dad would want us to be. Grayson surely does the trick. Beautifully written and thanks for sharing. Miss him
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written, Lu. The words that I wrote to Amy last year on her blog can't be topped, because they are still written on my heart for you and your whole family - so I'll share them below;
ReplyDelete"I know that the lessons he taught you live on through the lessons you teach to those all around you everyday; your husband, your son, your family, your friends. You are a beautiful, loving, strong and caring person and he helped to shape you. So I remember him too and thank him for all he did to make you an amazing friend. I love you."